Wednesday, January 6, 2021

My Word for 2021

I used to do New Year's Resolutions. One year mine was to not eat donuts, which was actually very challenging because our Sunday School Class had them every single week. (Guess what- I made it!) But then I grew up a little, and in 2018, I decided to start choosing words of the year. I liked having something to focus on and tie back to in a variety of different areas of my life. In 2018, I chose cultivate, which ended up being way more applicable than I would've ever guessed. In 2019, I chose listen, which was also very very fitting- and is still a work in progress for me. In 2020, I chose trust, which was scarily accurate in a year where I went on sabbatical, started a business, had a new baby, and navigated a pandemic alongside the rest of the world. It was my riskiest year yet, and it has honestly blown me way. Which leads to my word for this year: remember.

As a verb, remember has a couple of different meanings, all largely landing on things like "to bring to mind or think of again" or "to keep in mind for attending or consideration". 

Remember. Recall. Think back on.

This may seem like a strange choice coming out of a year that was arguably everyone's least favorite. Things like lockdowns, health scares, and more were obviously not light and easy- and with a potty-training three year old, a newborn, and two of us teaching from home, there were days I didn't know if we'd make it. But for us, 2020 was actually a pretty incredible year. 

We welcomed Addie Jo into the world on a joy-filled January morning, the sweetest surprise: a daughter. The world shut down and I was able to "come back" virtually from maternity leave early, making money again but still being home with my baby. I never had to leave her, as I went right into Summer and then into my Sabbatical. In March, we had our first Brim wedding and then we went on to have 38 more, ending November 1st, a crazy first season that somehow was more successful because of our unplanned, COVID friendly option for people: affordable, outdoors, and available. The timing of it all is almost scary, and definitely not luck. Throw in the additional financial blessings of stimulus checks when I had just cut our overall take home finances in more than half, and we had so much to be grateful for. Not to mention the amazing and generous support of so many who believe in us. 

I don't say this to brag or to make light of any of the hurt and devastation that has come to many during this time. I say it to focus on specific good we experienced and to be grateful for the silver linings. There were hard things the year brought too- new stresses and new worries, but they do pale in comparison to the struggles of many. I say this to remember.

 “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds. Psalm 77:11-12

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

Why? Because I not only want to remember these little bright spots of 2020, but I want to forever remember a year when I went all in on what I felt like I was being called to in this specific season, no matter how terrifying it was or how risky it felt. So much unknown, so many what ifs that weren't answered and yet I had to make decisions and go with it. 

I want to remember that God delivered and provided. He was faithful. I want to remember that being called doesn't mean it will be easy- to just keep walking in faith, waiting for just enough light to take the next step. I want to remember the way that I felt when I watched our first Brim bride walk down our ceremony aisle to say "I do" on a breezy March Monday afternoon. To remember where we came from and why we started all of this in the first place.

Why? How does this move me forward rather than just keeping me nostalgic?

I want to remember because I never want to take for granted how blessed I am to be where I am right now,  even when it is stressful or difficult. I want to remember because I want to slow down and make time for what is most important: faith, family, and friends, even if it means letting things sit undone for a while. I want to remember because I want to rest in knowing that God has a plan that is for my good, that He is with me, and that He has never failed me yet.

I want to remember because I want to trust, I want to rest, I want to listen and learn and grow and so much more. I'm still a work in progress, and I always will be. There is so SO much up ahead that is incredibly daunting (like building a wedding chapel and planning for more), and there is a lot of stress and a lot of potential worry that can creep in. So when that does, when I long for control and I start to spiral into anxiety, I want to remember that I have already been given much much more than I could ever have expected or asked for. And I want to make it count by blessing others as much as I can.

Happy New Year to you all! 



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