Monday, October 17, 2022

Hallie's Birth Story

Hallie Kaye Kleinmeyer joined us on August 19th at 7:31 am. We are over the moon in love with our precious little rainbow baby. We knew that this pregnancy and birth would be different after the loss of our last baby in September, and we hoped and prayed for a healthy, live baby and a redeeming birth experience. We are so thankful that we got both, along with a reminder of God's perfect timing and a wild story connected to her name! 

Eli and Addie both came ten days early on their own, so it was easy for me to mentally expect the same for this little lady. My due date was August 21st, so I was thinking August 11th would be the day. Once we got into the first week of August or so, I started going on lots of morning walks around the neighborhood, but I honestly didn't feel like my body was ready. I had a disappointing lack of progress at my baby appointments, and it was almost like I was late or overdue before we even hit my actual due date. We also selfishly wanted Baby Girl to come during a free week in August when we didn't have to worry about any receptions out at The Brim (and the logistics of small business ownership that don't just stop when you have a baby), and when we wouldn't have to worry about missing Eli's Back to School Night or First Day of Kindergarten! I'll admit, I was starting to get a little impatient and frustrated, which seems silly now.

We had the chance to try to schedule an induction early, but I didn't feel great about that. We called just to see if it was an option, but they were full that day so we took it as a sign that we needed to be patient. We went ahead and scheduled an induction for the day after my due date, Monday the 22nd, knowing that we would go in late that night if I was overdue and we would be guaranteed to have my doctor for a Tuesday delivery. At that point, we knew we would also be avoiding any weekend wedding conflicts. I was happy to have a plan in place and felt more at peace. What happened would happen. But honestly, I didn't want to be induced. Not only did I hope my body could go naturally and avoid complications, but I also had memories of being induced last September to deliver our stillborn baby, and I really wanted to avoid that if possible. Sure it was much different, but mentally there were some things I connected with that experience. 

On August 18th at 8:45 am, I had another baby appointment. When they checked me, I was at a one and maybe 50-70% effaced. This was super disappointing after all the walking and encouraging her to come that I had attempted. Even though my doctor was going to be out of town, I knew I preferred going into labor on my own versus getting induced. So they went ahead stripped a few membranes, and we figured we'd see what happened. 

We made it to Eli's Back to School Night, and got to drop off his school supplies and meet his teacher. I felt at peace that if I ended up not being able to see him get on the school bus for his first day because I was in labor, that at least I got to go and take a photo with him and know that he was set as far as school went. It also helped that we had put him on the bus for his two weeks of summer school, and we had already gotten the tears out of the way! Turns out this was my last pregnant photo.

After Eli's Back to School Night, we went to a local restaurant for dinner to celebrate. While we were sitting there, I started feeling a few mild contractions. After having three kiddos, I knew enough to know what a real contraction was versus the Braxton Hicks and small contractions I'd been walking myself into for the last few weeks. We came home and they continued every ten minutes or so. I didn't want to overreact too quickly, since I went to the hospital and had to go back with Eli because I wasn't in active labor and was only 38 weeks. But I was past 39 weeks this time, so things would be different. Anyways, I continued to have contractions, so I slowly packed my hospital bag (yes, I procrastinate on that), did loads of laundry, took a shower, and got the kids to bed in between the contractions. 

Around 9:30pm, Aaron called his brother just to keep him posted on what was happening in case we needed to make a 2:00 am call for him to come over and sit at our house while we left for the hospital. I always seem to go into labor or need to go to the hospital in the middle of the night.  I also called my mom (who had pretty much been living by her phone for the last three weeks) and let her know I had been having contractions for a while and that she may want to be prepared. 10/10 recommend having your mom there. We didn't originally plan on it with Eli, but I am so grateful she was there for his, Addie's, and Hallie's births.

I continued to breathe and work through contractions at home, timing them every 10 minutes from when they had started at 7:30pm until about 3:30am. I never slept, though I tried. I would just lay on the bed, then roll over and stand to work through a contraction, add it to my note on my phone, and then lay down again. They were definitely getting more intense. Even though they weren't five minutes apart, which is usually the marker for going in, I woke Aaron up and told him it was time to at least call the hospital. We found the number to call, and I couldn't even talk to the woman on the phone because I was working so hard through a contraction. She told us to go ahead and come on in. We called Austin to come over so we could leave, and let my mom know to head to the hospital to meet us.

We arrived at North Kansas City Hospital at 4:30am. They got me into a room and when they checked me I was at a 5.5. Hooray! I was relieved to know I wasn't crazy and that this was actually going to happen. There were some underlying nerves knowing what we'd been through the last time we were in labor and delivery, but we had no reason to believe we wouldn't be leaving without a baby this time. Our nurse, Amy, was incredible. I worked through more contractions and had my epidural around 6:30am or so, when I was at about an 8. My doctor, Dr. Newman, was out of town, which we knew would happen, but she actually had only delivered one of our kiddos (Eli) so that didn't worry me much. Dr. Lovitt delivered Addie and our last baby. 

My water never broke with any of our babies. Dr. Heizman came in when I was at a 9.5 and broke it, and we knew it wouldn't be long now. There was one contraction where Hallie's heart rate dropped a little bit, and Aaron and I were a little nervous. He asked if everyone knew our story and that we had lost a baby before, and of course they knew since it was in my files. But thankfully Dr. Heizman didn't seem concerned. Soon it was time, and two pushes later at 7:31 am, Hallie was in my arms. Hearing her cry was an inexplicable relief. I definitely felt her coming out more than I did Eli and Addie, simply because my epidural didn't have as long to kick in. But that was okay, because I also didn't have an epidural with our last baby (who was much smaller, but still). So it was redeeming to feel things a bit more and to hold a live baby on my chest. 

Although we did find out we were having a girl this time (another redeeming experience to change it up in the ultrasound room since that was where we found out we lost our baby last time), we still hadn't told anyone her name. After they handed her to me, I announced that her name was Hallie, Hallie Kaye Kleinmeyer. Hallie means "praise the Lord" and Kaye means "pure/rejoice". Kaye also is Hallie's Aunt Angela's middle name and Grandma Elaina's middle name, and was short for an Aunt Katherine on Aaron's side- who helped watch and raise his mom and aunts while his grandma was working. We also wanted another -ie girl name like Kelsie and Addie, and I liked how it all sounded together. The meaning was also what sold us.

Right before Hallie was born, our nurse team switched at the 7am shift change. We got Jaryn (a wonderful male nurse) and Katie, who normally worked on the mom and baby floor, but happened to be training on Labor and Delivery. After we had a little time to ourselves as a family of three, Katie came back in. She told us that she knew our story and we were already special to her, but she wanted to share that she also had experienced the loss of a child. Her daughter had been born at 26 weeks and lived for 12 days before passing away. Her daughter's name? Hallie Mae. And to think we were there at the exact time to have her as a nurse, and we had our Hallie Kaye. Goosebumps for us all. God's timing is wild. Katie told us she also has her rainbow baby, a son, now and that she knows how extra special and precious Hallie is to us. Pretty amazing. 

We moved up to the Mom and Baby floor and continued to have incredible care from nurses like Brenda, Brittany, and Sarena. North Kansas City is truly the best! I continued to just take in all of the joy and delight in all the things I got to do this time that I would have given anything to do with our last baby. I also had no stitches and no pain meds after the fact and felt amazing. Recovery was a breeze and I was so grateful, especially with two other crazies to take care of at home. It also helped that Hallie is such a sweet and easygoing baby. 

With an August due date instead of the January one we had expected, things had also changed regarding COVID and the visitor policy. I didn't have to be tested before I delivered, and our kids got to come meet their baby sissy in the hospital! That was one sweet and unexpected perk. It was wonderful that Hallie got to meet her aunts and uncles, grandparents, great-grandma, and other special friends. Another bonus was that we made it home the night before Eli’s first day, so we got to see him off to kindergarten! When it was time to go home, we got in the van and started pulling away from the hospital. That's when the tears really started to flow. Once you know what it's like to leave the hospital without your baby, it is inexplicably joyful to leave with them. 

We are so, so grateful for and in love with Hallie. She is the most precious gift and we are truly praising the Lord for her over and over again. She will never replace her sibling, but she is the best reminder of God's redeeming love and faithfulness, even in the hard times. I can truly say I can't imagine life without her and that having her was worth all the pain, heartache, and fear we had to navigate through since last fall. We love you so much, Hallie, and we always will, no matter what! 


Friday, August 13, 2021

A New Chapter

In 2014, I sent this blurry "first day of school" photo to my mom so she wouldn't be sad that it was the first year her kids were all out of high school. She promptly put it on Facebook alongside my first day of Kindergarten picture. A few days ago, it popped up on my timeline: "On this day seven years ago". It was my fourth year of teaching. I'd been married for just over a year, was kid-free, and I didn't know what I didn't know. And now, with another school year beginning and me not being in the classroom, it brought up all of the feels. 

With the 2021-2022 school year essentially here, and me getting asked more frequently, it's probably time for me to share a life update. At the end of June, my resignation from LPS was officially approved. Honestly, typing that still seems weird. I spent the last year on Sabbatical, and with all of the weird COVID stuff, it sort of felt like the school year just didn't happen. Most of the "normal" as I'd known it was gone from a typical school day. So even after a year off, a year where I could have declared my intent to return and been given the first job that popped up, it feels really weird to have the finality and formality of a "resignation".

I haven't known life working anywhere other than Liberty High School, life in the classroom. I graduated from Mizzou, got my job, and planned to stay and teach English forever. Funny how plans change, especially when they are bigger than our own. When I declared my sabbatical at the end of March 2020, for the 2020-2021 school year, I had a three year old and two month old, just enough money in the bank to make it work for a year, and ZERO idea that things would take off the way they had. No idea that the need for outdoor, affordable weddings would sky rocket as result of COVID. And there we were, with a pretty plot of land and a paver aisle. All of a sudden, we found ourselves with 12 weddings, then 20, then eventually 39. And suddenly my sabbatical didn't feel like much of a sabbatical, at least on the fall weekends.

I had no idea that we would fundraise enough money to break ground on a chapel offering free and affordable weddings last winter. That it would open on our 8th wedding anniversary and that we would have a wedding that day, on a Tuesday. No idea that we would end up with ninety bookings for 2021. Ninety!? Truly, I have been blown away again and again through this process. We were never in this for the profit, and we would never be where we are without the support of so many. It is both overwhelming and humbling, and has been risky and rewarding.

All that to say, as we continued to book for 2021, 2022, and beyond, it became very clear to me that it was not going to be possible to return to the classroom, be a mom, and also manage things at The Brim. And if I was going to pick one to step away from at this point, it had to be the classroom- especially with a third little one on the way in January! Do I and will I miss things about teaching? Absolutely. I miss my co-workers. I miss adult interaction, the kids, and (gasp) professional dress. I miss and will miss the laughter and memories in a classroom full of high school kids. The stable schedule and predictability of things. The games and assemblies and being a safe space for a kid to land as they navigated life. To be known as "someone's teacher" and maybe even one they liked. 

But you know what I won't miss? Time with my kids before they are in school. I will get to spend my days with them, and then several evenings at The Brim- the perfect outlet and balance for me to not go crazy spending too much time with only my little people (whom I love very much). I give weekly tours and feel like I'm back in the classroom a bit. I meet with brides for coordination and I feel like I'm planning a very important lesson that will be executed on the biggest day of their lives. We take a couple of student interns every semester and I LOVE working with high school kids in that capacity as they consider their own future endeavors. I've even had a few of my old students get married out there already! I love seeing the way that things have turned out so far, how I feel alive when I'm out there "working". And I sure do love seeing outside every day. 

Although it has felt risky, and scary, and hard along the way, I have no doubt that I am exactly where I'm meant to be right now. I have no regrets, only deep gratitude and joy for my years spent teaching. I would not have traded the nearly decade of memories and experiences that shaped who I am today for anything. I have immense respect for teachers and will always champion them as much as they deserve. And I can't wait to see what comes next! 



Tuesday, April 13, 2021

To Think We Could Have Missed This

And to think we could have missed this.

If the letter had not been written, the land not for sale, the dream not dreamed.

If the extra land wasn't given, the permit not approved, the deposit money not scrounged together.

We could have missed this. 

If the trip was not to Austin, the architect not randomly on site, the couple not generous and supportive.

If the poles had not been purchased, the brides had not taken a chance, the stories not written or shared or printed. 

If any tiny bit of this story was erased, it seems none of it would have happened. One small detail changed and everything would be different. 

No chapel on the hill, no free weddings, no chasing after something that became not just what we wanted to do, but what we had to. Something that mattered, because marriage does. 

We could have missed this.

The rallying of a community around marriage. The joy of every "I Do". The glow of a sunset on a white wedding tent. A book, a workshop, and Full Fridays together. 

The desire to live life full, and to share it with others. The exhausting, incredibly rewarding leap of faith that is both terrifying and invigorating. 

People thought we were crazy when we told them our plans. We get it. We wondered if we were too. But just enough people thought we weren't. They caught the vision, and to them we are eternally grateful. 

Flight is reserved for those who jump; we left the edge long ago. 

And to think we could have missed this. 


If you'd like to read the details behind this crazy story, check out the Behind the Brim series, starting with part one here

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

ONEderful World First Birthday Party

It's hard to believe, but our sweet Addie Jo is already one! Crazy to think it has been a whole year since she joined the world- a baby girl- the sweetest surprise. Addie made it just before the pandemic started, but that didn't mean she escaped a pandemic birthday. Even though we were unable to host our usual large shebang like we did for Eli's first few birthdays, we knew we still wanted to celebrate our precious girl. If you're looking to plan a "ONEderful World" first birthday, or even just a pandemic first birthday, here are all of the details!

I knew that I wanted to do a fun little theme and play on words for the party. Eli had a "Onesie" Party, which was super fun, and you can check out all of the details here. I wanted to bring along a lot of the fun elements from his party, like the time capsule and One Second Every Day video. But I also wanted something new for Addie. Addie moved into the same nursery that we had for E, and it is travel/world themed, so I figured why not use the decor from her bedroom to plan around a theme? (This is my favorite new mom hack for bday parties. We're planning a Dino-FOUR party for E using his Dino decor, and he had a Three-Rex Party last year!) 

I have also always loved the lyrics to "Your Song" by Elton John, so I wanted to incorporate those into the birthday theme, making it "How ONEdeful Life is When You're in the World". So it was a nice mix of "one", the world, and gratefulness for our sweet girl. I was able to get a dear friend's daughter to write the lyrics so I could frame them. I went with the original lyrics for this piece so that I could keep it in Addie's room beyond her first birthday. They turned out so beautifully! 

I wanted to keep the decor pretty, but simple. I was thinking rose gold, pale greens and blues, and some gold. I found a super reasonable "one" balloon banner on Amazon that also came with six cute confetti-filled balloons that Eli and Addie loved playing with. (Just be careful, we popped them after the party and confetti went everywhere)! I also ordered a tissue banner from Amazon that honestly took way more time than it probably should have for me to put together, but I did love the final result! I may use it again for future birthdays! I also did a simple monthly photo banner and a wrote out a few of Addie's "stats".

Other than that, I gave the theme and my ideas to the ever-talented Hailey the Cake Lady, and she ran with it. She made the most beautiful and delicious smash cake for Addie, larger cake for guests, and amazing sugar cookies. If you are local to KC, you should definitely check her out for any of your baking needs! The last thing I did was tie in a bit of our theme through our meal, which was for immediate family only. Since we can't really travel the world right now, I labeled food from different countries! We did chips and salsa (Mexico), pizza (Italy), Greek Salad, and Asian Salad. It was simple but kind of fun. 

Because of the pandemic, we chose to do a FB Event and then "go live" with Addie's smash cake. It was super fun, and a way for people other than our immediate family to see Addie dive in to some sweets. That girl doesn't mess around! It was fun to see people comment on there and family from out of town were able to participate too! I also used the FB event to share a link to a "virtual" time capsule form, where people could fill out what they normally would have done in person. Then I just took the results and recorded them on the time capsule time sheets to add to Addie's time capsule for when she turns 18!

Finally, I did keep up with my One Second Every Day app, so you can watch Addie's below! I shared it in the FB event as well so people could view if they wanted. I love having a little moment from each of her first year. I did one for each of Eli's first three years, so I will probably do the same with Addie.

All in all, it was a good, simple, and fun celebration with our sweet Addie. Hopefully "pandemic birthday" pivots will end soon, but for now this was a great way to celebrate our little lady. Life truly is wonderful with her in the world! Happy Birthday, Addie Jo. You are prized and precious! 



Thursday, January 14, 2021

A Trip to Texas Hill Country

For Aaron's Thirtieth Birthday, I wanted to plan a surprise trip. With everything going on in the world, plus the fact that we had two little kids, it wasn't going to be anything too crazy. But still, our first getaway since our Babymoon trip back in October of 2019 sounded pretty great to me. Initially, I was thinking we'd go back to Napa Valley. But when I asked a couple of friends about being a part of the surprise, they threw out the idea of visiting a different wine region in the states: Texas Hill Country! 

Knowing that this meant flying into Austin, Texas, which is special to us for a variety of reasons, really sealed the deal for me. I was able to set up surprise meetings with some really incredible folks who have been a huge part of The Brim, and I knew Aaron would DIE when he found out he was getting to meet with each of them. We did have our non-stop flight get changed to one stop, but other than that, everything came together perfectly. He had no idea where we were going until we got into the airport to go through security, and then I didn't tell him anything on our itinerary! 

I'll share the details of where we went and what we did. If you are looking for an easy, in the States getaway that allows for social distancing and driving, then this itinerary may be right up your alley! 


We flew into Austin and rented a car. We ended up getting an upgrade to this red Jeep Wrangler since our car wasn't ready yet. Texas Hill Country is to the west of Austin, so you actually don't have to spend any time in the big city at all if you don't want. That being said, there is some AMAZING food in Austin, so you could definitely try carry-out or eat outdoors at a place or two in town. 

We had our first meeting at Loro for lunch. It is an incredible blend of Asian Smokehouse and Texas Barbecue, and we were treated to a ton of delicious menu items. We sat outside with lots of space and it was definitely a place we'd go back. 

From there, we drove out to Chapel Dulcinea and the Wizard Academy, where I had set up a surprise meeting with the amazing couple from Austin who helped us get The Brim going. Aaron was so touched, and our last visit to Austin was so special, that he cried when I told him we had a meeting. We were treated to wine, conversation, and even given a couple of paintings and a sculpture, which Aaron carried back home on the plane. 

After this meeting, we continued driving West so that we could make a stop at Marble Falls. We still are big fans of IHG hotels, so I used points to book our hotel there that evening. Aaron didn't know this, but it was the city where our architect who designed our chapel lived, so we were set to meet with him the next morning. For dinner, I had found a little place called The Real New Orleans Style Restaurant, and it was both delicious and affordable. Highly recommend. You could also easily drive right into wine country this day and get things started, I just had some more personal things I set up for Aaron instead. Or you could spend a little time in Austin to start your trip if you've never been!


After packing all of that into our first day/night (we arrived in Austin around noon), Aaron was already blown away and didn't know how it could get any better. But he had no idea what else I had up my sleeves! 

We grabbed a to go breakfast from the hotel (their version of free breakfast minus the buffet with COVID precautions), and then headed out to meet our architect at his office. Aaron didn't know this, and we had to drive around a bit, but once we saw him Aaron freaked out! We were able to go up and tour his own wedding chapel and venue he is building, which is set to open in April: Hozhoni on the Hill. It is a whole campus offering glamping in tents and it is AMAZING. He is so creative and such a dreamer. 

They took us to an early lunch at a yummy Mexican restaurant, and then they actually took us to their home where we were able to meet the little boys they are currently taking care of. We also got to see their home, which he had completely redesigned and it was so beautiful.

From here, we headed off to Wine Country! The first winery we visited was Perissos Vineyards. They have the most gorgeous property, and you truly feel like you are in the middle of Napa or something, but you're closer to home in Texas! It's so beautiful out there, with tons of wineries all around. Perissos had a tasting- our go to- and we sat outside at picnic tables, spaced, walking up masked for our next tasting. 

What Aaron didn't know was that two of our good friends were going to surprise him and meet us here- driving down to join us for part of the trip. We were able to pull off the surprise flawlessly and it was so great! I had other people "join us" for Aaron's 30th by sending a "toast" to him- little videos I showed him here and there while we were tasting. He loved it.

Next, we drove to Torr Na Lochs Vineyard. They have a breathtaking view up on a hill with a lake down below, and they even had some Texas Longhorns roaming in the hills. They had an event going on where you could order from a food truck or buy some decor. They had outdoor seating overlooking the hill and they gave us our tastings in little plastic cups that we poured into our wine glasses when we were ready for the next one. Definitely visit here! 

From there, we decided to drive on to our destination for the evening, Fredericksburg. Fredericksburg is the cute small town with great food and the cutest little downtown area. I had no idea at the time, but apparently it is rated one of the top small towns in the US! We briefly checked into our Airbnb, which was so cute and had a little backyard with a fire pit so we could hang out and be outdoors. It was also within walking distance of downtown if we wanted to walk. 

After that, we hit one more winery before we headed to dinner. In general, I was following this wine tasting itinerary, but of course we also wanted to leave room for spontaneity and there were some places that had different operating hours with COVID.  We hit the Texas Heritage Vineyard on a whim. It was family owned and they were so kind, with the most beautiful deck and a perfect sunset that evening. You can actually see us in this Instagram post ha! 

For dinner, we drove 20 minutes out into the middle of nowhere for the best burgers we've ever had in our lives at the Alamo Springs Cafe. Seriously, this is a MUST visit. They have a ton of outdoor seating with string lights and live music. Aaron even got to go up and play a song and sing! 

A major unexpected bonus was that they had JUST set up the Christmas decorations for the season in downtown, so driving down Main Street was a delight. 


After two really full days, we decided to take it a little bit easier this day. I had a couple of places I wanted to try for breakfast, but they were super crowded so we ended up at a little Mexican restaurant. Then we headed off to try Grape Creek Vineyards. They were definitely the largest, most expensive tasting we tried, more like what you would see in lots of places in Napa. Texas is definitely a more affordable wine region to visit, and still delicious! Their gorgeous property reminded me of Tuscany! 

From here, we had a few more places on the list, but we decided we were a little wined out. So we went out and visited a little wildflower farm called Wildseed Farms. We went back downtown for some delicious pizza at Social Haus, then grabbed coffee and walked around for a while. From there, we hung out in the Airbnb and played some cards. You can find more Fredericksburg Winery options here


This day we were heading back into Austin to get ready for our flight and to tour part of Wizard Academy. For reference, Fredericksburg is an hour and a half from the Austin airport, and we broke up the trip into chunks so it was super easy. We hit a yummy taco truck and got a donut on our way back into town, and then I got my nails done (a special treat Aaron spoils me with on vacay). We then grabbed one more Mexican lunch, and then headed home to KC. 

All in all, it was an amazing trip. I would highly recommend a visit to the Texas Hill Wine Country if you like wine, but want something closer to home in the Midwest. You could even drive here if you didn't want to fly- and there are plenty of options to be outdoors and distanced. If you fly, you can really fit in a lot in a short amount of time. We went in November, and I was wearing tank tops and shorts many of the days, so it's warmer than home and the perfect getaway! 



Wednesday, January 6, 2021

My Word for 2021

I used to do New Year's Resolutions. One year mine was to not eat donuts, which was actually very challenging because our Sunday School Class had them every single week. (Guess what- I made it!) But then I grew up a little, and in 2018, I decided to start choosing words of the year. I liked having something to focus on and tie back to in a variety of different areas of my life. In 2018, I chose cultivate, which ended up being way more applicable than I would've ever guessed. In 2019, I chose listen, which was also very very fitting- and is still a work in progress for me. In 2020, I chose trust, which was scarily accurate in a year where I went on sabbatical, started a business, had a new baby, and navigated a pandemic alongside the rest of the world. It was my riskiest year yet, and it has honestly blown me way. Which leads to my word for this year: remember.

As a verb, remember has a couple of different meanings, all largely landing on things like "to bring to mind or think of again" or "to keep in mind for attending or consideration". 

Remember. Recall. Think back on.

This may seem like a strange choice coming out of a year that was arguably everyone's least favorite. Things like lockdowns, health scares, and more were obviously not light and easy- and with a potty-training three year old, a newborn, and two of us teaching from home, there were days I didn't know if we'd make it. But for us, 2020 was actually a pretty incredible year. 

We welcomed Addie Jo into the world on a joy-filled January morning, the sweetest surprise: a daughter. The world shut down and I was able to "come back" virtually from maternity leave early, making money again but still being home with my baby. I never had to leave her, as I went right into Summer and then into my Sabbatical. In March, we had our first Brim wedding and then we went on to have 38 more, ending November 1st, a crazy first season that somehow was more successful because of our unplanned, COVID friendly option for people: affordable, outdoors, and available. The timing of it all is almost scary, and definitely not luck. Throw in the additional financial blessings of stimulus checks when I had just cut our overall take home finances in more than half, and we had so much to be grateful for. Not to mention the amazing and generous support of so many who believe in us. 

I don't say this to brag or to make light of any of the hurt and devastation that has come to many during this time. I say it to focus on specific good we experienced and to be grateful for the silver linings. There were hard things the year brought too- new stresses and new worries, but they do pale in comparison to the struggles of many. I say this to remember.

 “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds. Psalm 77:11-12

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

Why? Because I not only want to remember these little bright spots of 2020, but I want to forever remember a year when I went all in on what I felt like I was being called to in this specific season, no matter how terrifying it was or how risky it felt. So much unknown, so many what ifs that weren't answered and yet I had to make decisions and go with it. 

I want to remember that God delivered and provided. He was faithful. I want to remember that being called doesn't mean it will be easy- to just keep walking in faith, waiting for just enough light to take the next step. I want to remember the way that I felt when I watched our first Brim bride walk down our ceremony aisle to say "I do" on a breezy March Monday afternoon. To remember where we came from and why we started all of this in the first place.

Why? How does this move me forward rather than just keeping me nostalgic?

I want to remember because I never want to take for granted how blessed I am to be where I am right now,  even when it is stressful or difficult. I want to remember because I want to slow down and make time for what is most important: faith, family, and friends, even if it means letting things sit undone for a while. I want to remember because I want to rest in knowing that God has a plan that is for my good, that He is with me, and that He has never failed me yet.

I want to remember because I want to trust, I want to rest, I want to listen and learn and grow and so much more. I'm still a work in progress, and I always will be. There is so SO much up ahead that is incredibly daunting (like building a wedding chapel and planning for more), and there is a lot of stress and a lot of potential worry that can creep in. So when that does, when I long for control and I start to spiral into anxiety, I want to remember that I have already been given much much more than I could ever have expected or asked for. And I want to make it count by blessing others as much as I can.

Happy New Year to you all! 


Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Where You Water It

I think it is always easy to see another scenario, another situation, and compare it to ours. To wish or long for what others have, even to be jealous of elements of it. The grass must be greener over there, we tell ourselves. They must have it so much easier, so much better: "If only I had more time, more money, a better personality, the chance to be home, a better marriage, a better body, the chance to work a job I love"... insert jealous item here. But the thing is, that never really gets us anywhere. It leaves us feeling unhappy, discontent, and maybe even a little guilty. And we ultimately have changed nothing, other than suddenly feeling bad about the little plot of land we've been given, a beautiful plot with lots of potential. 

Last year, before we put 300 pounds of grass seed down at The Brim and prayed it wouldn't wash away, Aaron built and installed an irrigation system. We didn't have a building, no fancy getting ready room- heck, we didn't even have long term bathrooms yet. We definitely weren't offering everything other venues could offer at this point. But we had some poles, a dream, a story, and (hopefully) would have some nice grass. So we watered it like crazy. Each month, we pumped hundreds of dollars into keeping the ceremony space and tent area watered. And you know what? It grew. It grew, and it stayed green. We let other areas of our 16.6 acres go wild, but, where it mattered, we committed to making sure it stayed green. 

Now that I am a couple of months into my sabbatical, and we are in more of our "off-season" with The Brim, I've actually had a little time to breathe and a little time to reflect. And I've realized more and more, that it's true: the grass is greener where you water it. There are things about working full-time (outside of just the home) that I miss. I miss co-workers. I (strangely) miss dressing up and getting ready and feeling a little bit put together. I miss uninterrupted time to get work done and to use my brain in another way that doesn't involve making PBJs, corraling toddler breakdowns, and constantly folding loads of laundry. 

But on the other side, I sure don't miss other things. I don't miss grading essays. I don't miss having to get a kiddo up and ready and packed and to daycare before I even made it to school to start my day. I don't miss all the extra pumping, or missing my babies during the day. I don't miss feeling like I've ran a marathon even before 8 am. 

I can completely resonate with what we "miss", what we long for as a working mom, or as a stay at home mom, because I've now had my toes in a little bit of each. Quite honestly, y'all, there is always someone who wishes they had what you do now. If you are longing for what someone else has, there is probably another out there longing for what you have. But none of us, not a single one, has it all perfect- despite what Instagram may say. 

Although my stay at home experience is a bit different because I'm running our business from home at the same time, I see the loneliness that exists there. I see the longing to find value and worth in a society that often doesn't offer that to the mom who is home, completing the daily grind and keeping the home running. Who is tired of the never-ending cycle of dishes and laundry and cleaning the same messes. In comparison, I spent more time (3 years) as a working mom, and I remember the guilt I felt handing off my baby to someone else each day, how hard it was to drive away from a crying kiddo that I didn't really want to leave. How much I felt like I was missing out. 

People say the grass is always greener on the other side, but here's the thing: the grass is greener where you water it. I can choose to sit and think about what I no longer have (even though there are things I now have that I once longed for). OR, I can choose to think about how to water where I'm at now. How to make it the greenest and best that I can, making the most of my current plot of land.

So how do I do this? I am learning that it starts with self-reflection (hello, blog post and writing things down). It starts with realizing what makes me stressed and what makes me passive aggressive or upset- finding the root of that and figuring out how to re-frame my views on it. With a pandemic, a new baby, and a new business, it hasn't just been an easy breezy year (for anyone- many have had it much much worse). When I choose to recognize what keeps me mentally and emotionally at my best in my current world, my current field of grass, I start to advocate for and rearrange my routines to make it happen. I choose to turn my eyes away from someone else's grass and get out the hose to water my own. 

For me, personally, I have (HAVE) to work out basically every day or I am stressed out and short with people. So I will fit that in, whether that's waiting for Aaron to get home, seeing if I can find a friend or family member to pop by so I can sprint over to 9Round, or just running on the treadmill for even 20 minutes while both kids are napping. And though I don't often choose to do it, even working out after they've gone to bed or before they are up is worth it to me. And each time I choose to make this a priority, I open the spigot, and the sprinklers turn on. And the grass perks up. It's not perfect. But it's better.

Another thing that I'm finding works for me is reaching out to others for a little bit of help once a week with the kids. In my scenario, my mom and my mother in law are within 15 minutes of me, along with a couple of fabulous sister in laws and some very dear friends. It may not always be long, but having a couple of hours, or even a whole day to get things done for our business, our home, and myself is keeping me sane and helping me feel like I'm not having to neglect the kids, doing everything at once but none of it well. I recognize that not everyone is lucky enough to have family so close who can watch your kids without a price tag, but I would even consider finding another mama who is home that you could alternate dropping your kiddos with and getting a little time to yourself. Or, if it is a possibility and reality for you, maybe even paying someone once a week or part of a day so you can have a little time to get things done. The to-do list gets crossed off, you have a little time away, and you're a better mama when you're back with your kids again. And so, the sprinkler turns on. 

Lastly, I am trying to build in social time for myself- a major extrovert who can get a little crazy when I'm with only kids ages four and under all day. On the days I "work" without my kids, I try to build community with other wedding vendors. I try to be intentional about reaching out via text to friends, and Marco Polo has been a lifesaver lately because I can see and hear people and they can get back to me when it is convenient (and I can do the same with them). Although COVID has restricted some of the in-person possibilities, my best scenario would be having a park or play date with another mama at least once a week, and leaving the house at least once a day (even if it's just for a walk, a trip to the store, or even to fill our gas tank). These little "getaways" disrupt a long day at home and give me just a little bit of sanity. And each time I go on them, the water droplets start to rain down, giving me a little life and greening things up a bit. 

So the next time you start to compare, start to peek around and see who's got the greenest grass on the block, remember this. We are all in different seasons, different scenarios with different struggles and with different joys. What we have now could look much different in the blink of an eye. So rather than sadly looking at our brown blades of grass and wishing for more somewhere else, let's choose to do the work. Let's plant the seeds; let's put in the irrigation; let's do the work to see the beauty that our own situation possesses. Myself definitely included. Let's water our own grass, and be a part of helping others do the same. The grass is greener where you water it, and I'm striving to get the hose going this year and to do the best I can with what I've been given. Because it truly is a gift. 



Sunday, November 22, 2020

Real Estate 101: Pros of Building a House

This post may contain affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Currently, Kelsie.

Although time will tell if it will ever happen, right now it is a goal of ours to build our own house on our land out at The Brim someday. Just like us, many people dream of owning a brand new, custom-made house that speaks to their personality, tastes, and preferences. However, many people battle with the question of whether to build or purchase their "perfect house" or "forever home". The path towards homeownership can be confusing and often unexpected, and each option requires careful consideration.

Building a house is a momentous decision and fulfilling adventure with substantial financial implications and several benefits. The following are the pros of building a house you should consider before breaking ground and putting your money where your mouth is:

A Clean Slate

Building a house from the ground up means starting with a clean slate! Woot woot. You don't have to worry about the foundation or the durability and esthetics of interior decorations and landscaping. The total control you have means that you get to choose everything that goes into the new house. Every corner, every paint color, and every room is customized to your taste and preference. In the end, you get to live in your dream house with flooring, layout, finishes, and furnishings that resonate with your personality.

Minimal Maintenance

A custom-made home allows you to opt for specific materials that are durable and environmentally friendly. You get the chance to own a house that meets the current energy and ventilation codes and standards. Therefore, you won't have to worry about municipal building standards, including water and sewage, because the authorities approved your plan. Working with professional contractors ensures that your building is properly inspected (although the process isn't always easy or quick)! The functionality of the house is updated. Quality is a guarantee with every layer of bricks or coat of paint. Less time and money will go into maintenance, renovations, and functional upgrades.


The feeling of satisfaction that comes with building your house is unbeatable. Seeing your unique taste manifest throughout the house and listening to people compliment your work is lovely. Waking every day with the knowledge that you actively participated in every step of the project is heart-warming. You also get to learn new skills- and there is sure a lot to learn. From working with architects on the design and layout to landscaping, every process of building a house is a learning opportunity. While the learning curve may be steep mentally, physically, and financially, the result will be unbearably satisfying. You feel emotionally connected to every inch of the house, and get to enjoy the fruits of your labor! 


While the upfront cost of building a house can be off-putting, you will save a great deal in the long run. From maintenance cost to high resale value and energy efficiency, there are countless ways you can recoup your investment. The longer lifespan and customized feel will earn you competitive bids when reselling the house.

Freedom to Choose the Location

Building a house instead of buying gives you the freedom to choose the location (my favorite part because I want some land to BREATHE). If you dream of a house overlooking the beach, find vacant land in the location, make payments, and turn your dream into a reality. Building a house is a profoundly satisfying experience that gives you the freedom to customize every aspect of your living space. Before beginning this journey, share ideas for your dream home with experts to avoid costly mistakes.

Have an amazing time turning your dream home into your real home. I hope we're able to do the same someday!