Aaron's car work is a huge blessing, not only to help keep our cars running without breaking the bank, but also to help others. Aaron is honest, while many shops are not, and he is able to save people lots and lots of money, and bless them with his talents. Shameless plug, if you're looking for car work in KC, he's your man!
While all of these things are a blessing to many, including myself, it caused a decent amount of tension for a while in our marriage. I had to learn to give Aaron up for hours at a time on nights or weekends so that he could work on cars. I was never jealous, or mad at him, it just felt like I was losing time I could be spending with him. I found myself sitting on the couch alone at night while he slaved away in the garage, fixing cars for hours. I'll admit it, I wasn't always super happy about it. Selfish, I know. But Aaron takes his role as a provider very seriously, and he works hard to take on car work as his second "job" to help supplement our income. And, most importantly, he enjoys doing it.
It wasn't until I was meeting with a mentor of mine that I realized the obvious solution to this problem. One of Aaron's love languages is quality time. He loves spending time with me, no matter what it is that we're doing. To me, spending time in the garage with Aaron wouldn't make sense- there was so much I could be doing inside while he was working. Things like laundry, schoolwork, and more took precedence for me. After all, I know pretty much nothing about cars. But to Aaron, having me with him in the garage while he worked on cars would mean the world. Even just my silent presence there. He'd mentioned before in passing that he'd like for me to come be with him, but I responded as stated above- so many other things to be doing with my time. Wifey fail.
Later that night, as I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, Aaron told he he was really glad I'd spent some time out in the garage with him, and that he loved having my company. Success! A few days later, when Aaron invited me to go to Lowe's with him, I remembered my new perspective. I knocked away my initial thoughts, clouded by all the other things that I could get done in the time it would take to walk around a store and look at things that weren't really my scene. And I went. And it made Aaron so happy, because we were together.
It's funny that our garage would teach me a little life lesson, and a helpful one for our marriage. Not only should I not be jealous of Aaron's time (which I'm not, so please friends, keep the cars coming!), but I also need to say yes to spending time with him, even if it's not doing something that I love. Because it means a lot to him. And I need to say yes and go instead of worrying about my "to-do list". The laundry will get done. The blog posts will happen. The trip itineraries will work out (or, heaven forbid, we will be spontaneous). What seems like a waste of time to me may mean the world to my husband. And so, I'm making changes. I don't compete with the cars or the garage, that's where I get to hang out with my hubby and keep him company while he helps our friends.
I'm linking up with Twinkly Tuesday, Tell it to Me Tuesday, Intentional Tuesday, Rich Faith Rising, The Quinntessential Mommy, Amy Schlichter, Messy Marriage, Wine'd Down Wednesday, and the Painted Teacup.