Tuesday, April 12, 2016

The Alder Collective Link Party #24

I can't believe how quickly April is going! In only a few weeks, we'll be into May and then out of school before we know it (28 days left, but who's counting?). We are already planning our next trip to San Francisco/Napa Valley area for the end of May, and are also hoping to do some cruising' this summer before Greece! This week, I shared my travel tips for NYC, complete with photos and what we did while we were there as a part of our spring break tip! Here's the post if you missed it. Hope you're having a wonderful week!

Currently,
Kelsie

The Alder Collective Link Party

Welcome to The Alder Collective Link Party! We're so happy you stopped by to show off your stuff. A friendly reminder before we jump into the party: make sure you're visiting at least as many posts as you're linking up. This party is no fun if you don't see traffic and comments from it. Now check out what your hosts have been up to this week:

  The Alder Collective Link Party
Clockwise from top left:
Each week, we'll pin every link to the Alder Collective Link Party Pinterest board, where it will be seen by thousands of people. Here are our favorite links from last week's party:

Monday, April 11, 2016

Three Days in NYC: The Travel Guide

Aaron and I were blessed with a whole week off together for spring break. After a crazy series of events involving two planned trips and a big basketball game, we ended up taking the trip that we planned to the Northeast. We've been adding states to our list with state sign photos (and have now successfully seen almost 35 of the 50 states together). First on our list for this trip? Flying into Baltimore and driving to New York City. If you're like us, and trying to see several Northeast states and cities in one trip, then you may be a little pressed for time. New York City is huge and there's so much to see, so where do you start? Here's a guide to the top things to see in NYC, and how we saw them on a budget in only a few days.



DAY ONE:

We stayed on the Jersey side of the Hudson because we had free nights at the Jersey City Hyatt Regency. It was amazing, with a beautiful view at night of Manhattan, and the PATH station was literally right outside the hotel door. We paid $5 a person total per day to ride the PATH over to Manhattan and back, and didn't have to purchase any other transportation at all in the city. Because we were on a big road trip and seeing several northeast states, we did have a rental car, and parking was considerably cheaper on the Jersey side.

Our hotel at night on the water: the Hyatt Regency Jersey City

World Trade Center 9/11 Memorial and Museum

We took the PATH over to the World Trade Center stop and found ourselves in the middle of one crazy looking transportation hub: the Oculus. Neither one of us had ever seen the 9/11 Memorial or Museum, so we knew it was worth paying the money to do it ($24/person). After grabbing a couple quick, cheap slices of pizza at Pronto Pizza, we headed over to the memorial: reflecting pools where the towers used to stand. Pretty unreal.

Pronto Pizza New York City
Some serious slices from Pronto Pizza
9/11 Memorial Reflecting Pool
One Reflecting Pool and Memorial (free to see outside the Museum). Names of all victims are on the sides.
 The museum was amazing, though several parts of it were a little hard emotionally. As a married couple in our twenties, we had the realization that we'd never really been to a museum before that was about something we actually remembered happening. We also recognized that people a few years younger than us don't remember 9/11 happening, which is crazy to think about. Overall, the museum was well worth it, with a whole bunch of wreckage and artifacts that everyone should see at least once. We spent about two hours there, and could have spent longer.
9/11 Museum
Artists painted the canvases to depict what they remember the sky to look like that day.

Brooklyn Bridge

Since we were already on the southern end of Manhattan, we decided to go ahead and walk over to the iconic Brooklyn Bridge. Some folks continue all the way over to hang out in Brooklyn, but we didn't for the sake of time. Pretty awesome to see a bridge that's so old and still structurally sound (and pretty too!)

Brooklyn Bridge

Little Italy/Chinatown

If you're already over near the Brooklyn Bridge, Little Italy and Chinatown are only a hop, skip, and a jump to the northwest. We walked through both neighborhoods, and grabbed some delicious gelato at Mo il Gelato on Mulberry St in Nolita. It was seriously about as good as what we had in Italy last summer!


Soho/Noho

If you're looking to save some money and forgo metro passes, be prepared to walk when you come to NYC. We just kept right on walking through Soho and Noho, mainly spending time window shopping and finding a place to charge my phone for a while. There are lots of unique shops and boutiques here.

Greenwich Village

This area was very trendy, crowded, and a lot of fun. There were several really great food options and lots of comedy clubs. We saw a nice man walking his dog on the street and asked him for restaurant recommendations. He told us we needed to go to Monte's, so we did. And boy was he right! It was packed and delicious, and we watched some March Madness while we enjoyed Chicken Parm and Ravioli before calling it a night and heading back to Jersey.

The view from our hotel each night (insert heart eyes emoji here).

DAY TWO:

After heading over on the PATH again, we did a daytime walk through Times Square. I found a Groupon for Open Loop Bus tours, so we headed over to the redemption center to board the bus. Our day one walk had covered a lot of the bottom half of NYC, but we knew if we wanted to see Central Park and a lot of the other northern sights, it would be nice to rest our feet on a bus for a while. It was chilly, so it was a little cold up top, but we bundled up and made it work. Open Loop wasn't quite as glamorous as Big Bus Tours, but it was way way cheaper and we still learned a lot from our tour guides and drivers. You can get unlimited downtown and uptown loops for $39 for two, so we hopped on and got a tour of the rest of the city.

View from the Open Loop bus. Apollo Theater in Harlem

Central Park

Just as beautiful as it looks in the movies. The area includes a few small lakes, a zoo, and lots of area to roam and explore. Both the west and east side of the park are pretty "swanky" areas with expensive homes and lots of fun museums to visit! 


Empire State Building

I had been here once before, so we didn't go this time. But you can go up to the viewing deck and get some pretty amazing views of the city! 


Rockefeller Center

As featured in the popular movie Home Alone, this is a really cool area. We saw a few people ice skating, or doing some shopping. You can also be an audience member on shows like "The Tonight Show" here! 

Broadway

We hopped off the bus here and grabbed a bite to eat at a small diner just across from Ellen's Stardust Diner. Ellen's had a line a mile long, so be prepared if you're heading that way! It seemed pretty cool, we were just too hungry to wait. Broadway is full of lots of fun restaurants and of course all of the theaters where you can see Broadway musicals! We thought about seeing a show, but they were all pretty much sold out. (I did see Phantom of the Opera and Chicago on Broadway back in 2007- both were amazing!) We settled for a piece of NYC cheesecake and a Dr. Pepper to go, which we later enjoyed along with the gorgeous view from our room.

Times Square

After dinner, we walked back through Times Square and saw all the lights in all their glory. There are some fun shops to check out like the Hershey Store, as well as lots of chain restaurants. Several movie theaters are just blocks away.

Times Square

Friday, April 8, 2016

Five on Friday: Dreamin', Livin', and Lovin'

It has been one heck of a week around these parts. A few challenges have presented themselves here and there, but overall it was a week full of gorgeous walks, meals with friends, and a whole lot of relaxation and fun. Safe to say that nearly overnight, Kansas City has decided to kick it into springtime gear (and we couldn't be happier about that). We're blessed for sure. Here's what we've been up to this week!

Doughnut Lounge Westport

1.  KC Livin'

I'm sure many Kansas City folks may consider this shameful, but last weekend I finally made my first official trip to the Joe's KC original restaurant. I'm a huge pulled pork fan, and the Carolina Pulled Pork sandwich with a side of beans didn't let me down. The restaurant is extra fun because its location is also a combo convenience store/gas station, saving seats isn't allowed, and there is always a super long, out-the door kinda line. We met up with some sweet friends who were in town for the "Baby-Moon", so we also got to hang out and catch up at the Doughnut Lounge in Westport. I love me a good doughnut. Our city is basically the bomb: so many fun areas to explore, great food, awesome sports excitement, and a whole lot of friendly folks. Come see us!

Joe's Kansas City Barbecue

2.  Royals Lovin'

To build on the whole KC livin' idea, we've done some serious lovin' of our World Series Champion Royals this week! We hosted a watch party for our first ever "opening night" game win, took in the new Championship flag and rings, and witnessed excitement all over the city as Royals flags fly high and nearly everyone you see on a game day is wearing a Royals shirt. We're headed to our first in-person game tomorrow night with a whole bunch of friends and an RV. What's more fun than a big ole tailgate and a beautiful spring day at the ballpark?

Royals World Series Parade 2015
At the Royals World Series Parade in November. These are my people.

3. Bingo Losin'

Last Saturday, we went to a fun evening event that doubled as a fundraiser for our church's youth group. They are headed on a summer conference and were raising a little extra money from a silent auction, bingo games, and a whole lot of fun. We bought some extra boards, but still didn't win a single time on any of our five boards. The whole event was really well put together, and we had our fair share of yummy events and laughs. We also walked away with some new decor for one of our rooms. To heal our losing wounds, we spent an evening enjoying half-price Super Nachos at the ever delicious 54th Street. Never a bad decision, folks.

Bingo Boards

4. Summer Dreamin'

I don't know what feel more summery than sunshine and Nike running shorts. Some 75 degree days around here have me all excited about the months to come. Coming back from spring break is always kind of hard as a teacher: April and May are long, fun months without any breaks. But the weeks and days are ticking away, and I'm trying to focus on doing my job. Kind of hard though, with Greece on the horizon and a whole month of June to explore the country (and some other countries) with our Southwest Companion Pass. Free flights for the win!!

Southwest Companion Pass
What a happy mail day this was.

5. Camp Prayin'

You may have seen my Facebook Page request for some prayers last week. We were in a place where we had to make some hard decisions regarding YoungLife Camp and whether to keep spots or give them away. The whole community (and many of you) rallied in prayer, and we ended up nearly doubling our camp list of 16 kids to end up with a total of 29 kids signed up by the end of that night. WOW! It was so amazing to continue to see the Lord's answer to prayers and to see His continuous to faithfulness, even when we were nervous and doubting. He showed up in the biggest of ways, and He continues to do so through both the good and bad every single day. Thanks for joining us in this ministry!

I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful weekend full of dreamin', livin', and lovin' (and maybe a country song or two if you're not too opposed). Have a great one!

Currently,
Kelsie

I'm linking up with A. Liz Adventures The Diary of a Real HousewifeUniquely UnfoldedGrace and Love Blog,  Running for Cupcakesand Life in Leggings.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

The Alder Collective Link Party #23

It's been a pretty great week so far. We've had a few surprises and a few exciting events (I'll share more about those on Friday) but all in all, April has been chugging along. Last Friday, I got my first major post out since our little spring break trip. If you missed it, I shared my ideas on What No One Tells You About Your Mid-Twenties. It's a weird, wonderful age that is different than I expected when it comes to "adulting" and a few other things. Y'all have has some awesome content lately. Keep it coming!

Currently,
Kelsie
 
Alder Collective Link Party

Welcome to The Alder Collective Link Party! We're so happy you stopped by to show off your stuff. A friendly reminder before we jump into the party: make sure you're visiting at least as many posts as you're linking up. This party is no fun if you don't see traffic and comments from it. Now check out what your hosts have been up to this week:
  The Alder Collective Link Party
Each week, we'll pin every link to the Alder Collective Link Party Pinterest board, where it will be seen by thousands of people. Here are our favorite links from last week's party:

Friday, April 1, 2016

What No One Tells You About Your Mid-Twenties

If you're anything like me, you may have pictured your twenties as the perfect time to figure it all out. You'd graduate, get a job, get married, buy a house, and march happily off into the sunset. And maybe start a family while you're at it. While all of these are wonderful things that do happen for lots of people in their twenties, there are other things that happen in this decade that are different than expected. I'm hanging out here at 26, closer to (gulp) 30 than to 20, and living in the oh so sweet and confusing "mid-twenties". So today, I'm doing some reflecting and sharing five things no one told me about these years: things that I didn't expect.

What No One Tells You About Your Mid-Twenties

1. You still don't have it all figured out. 

Just when you think you're supposed to have your life under control....you're still a major work in progress. Yes, you've likely graduated college or your post-secondary schooling and are in the work force in some kind of job that pays the bills. (Boo for adulting.) You may even be happily married to an awesome guy (like I am). But now you're faced with possible decisions like "Do I stay in this job for the rest of my life?" or "Do I move my family across the country?". And there's also the ever popular question of when to start a family or how long to wait to buy (or stay) in a home. Simply put, we've never really got it all figured out...and we really never will. And that's okay.

2. People have a whole lot of expectations for you...in a variety of areas.

Along with the not having it all figured out thing, there's also this weird fact that people will constantly be asking you questions about your "plan", and you'll have some awkward conversations where you may receive heartfelt, well-intended advice that's potentially unwanted. Think back to your senior year of high school when people asked you what you were doing after graduation. It's like that, but on steroids. People are always asking about what's next: with a job, a boyfriend, a hubby, or (the oh so popular) starting a family. I truly believe that people have the best intent in all of this, and I welcome the conversation, but the mid-twenties do feel like this odd time of being asked lots of questions you don't really know the answer to, and then hearing others opinions on it all.

3. You STILL won't feel qualified as a "grown up" sometimes.

One of the things that scares me most about potentially bringing a child into this world is just the fact that I still feel like a kid myself half of the time. To some extent, I never want to fully "grow up". But every now and then I wake up with a good hard realization that I'm not a little kid anymore...and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, my mom had me when she was my age. What!? I still feel like I'm 20, maybe 23 max: young and wild and free. It's almost like we're just playing pretend "house", only a less fun version where I have to pay bills and taxes. I will admit though that taxes are not as meticulous as I imagined since there are so many specific calculators for taxes. Any of my twenty-something friends with me? And if you're not twenty something anymore...does this ever change?

What No One Tells You About Your Mid-Twenties

4. Comparison doesn't go away after high school or college.

I thought that once I left the halls of my 800 person high school that I would be in a world full of far less comparison. And then, college. Once we all graduated, landed jobs, and found our true loves, then surely that would be the end of it, right? Wrong. I think sometimes I struggle more with comparison now than I ever did as a teenager or college kid. Wedding planning was a huge struggle for me, mainly because I was one of the first to get married, and then I had to question all of my (unimportant) planning decisions as I watched all of my other friends get married. And then there are houses, jobs, marriages, and all of these new things to compare and be jealous of. And I hate that. I'm sure it will only continue with children someday, and I have to continuously focus on being thankful for what I've been given without worrying about what others have. And social media only makes it harder as we all project our seemingly perfect lives. It's time to be real, y'all. But I digress.

5.  Time. Flies. And it doesn't slow down.

This is the biggie for me right now: life is moving fast, and we only get to do it once. So we better make the best of it. People tell you this from the time you're born...but you just don't get it for a while. Until maybe college. And then one day you get married, and you wake up the next day and you've been married for three years. And you seriously start to have a minor panic attack at 25 because my goodness...a quarter of your life is already gone (if you're blessed to see 100). I know that fear and worry about time going by is no way to live life, but my goodness. I'm sure it only speeds up from here with kiddos! So what to do? Check out this blog's tagline: Learn fearlessly. Love fiercely. Live life fully. That's my motto and I'm stickin' to it.

What have the mid-twenties brought to you? What do you remember about these years, and what else were you surprised by? Follow along on Twitter or Instagram to continue the conversation! 

Currently,
Kelsie
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Tuesday, March 29, 2016

The Alder Collective Link Party #22

Getting back into the groove of work has been HARD after nine glorious days off. I still feel like I should be tooling around the East Coast in our little rental Versa, listening to country songs and seeing the world with my love. I've got some travel posts and advice coming your way, so be on the look out for those (and if you aren't, you can follow along on Facebook)! In case you missed it, yesterday I shared some of my heart and words about the joys and struggles in The Truth About Being Married and In Ministry. It's really amazing to see how kids can both bless and be blessed by our marriage. Thanks for stopping by! Can't wait to see what you link up!

Currently,
Kelsie
 
Alder Collective Link Party

Welcome to The Alder Collective Link Party! We're so happy you stopped by to show off your stuff. A friendly reminder before we jump into the party: make sure you're visiting at least as many posts as you're linking up. This party is no fun if you don't see traffic and comments from it. Now check out what your hosts have been up to this week:
The Alder Collective Link Party
Clockwise from left:
Each week, we'll pin every link to the Alder Collective Link Party Pinterest board, where it will be seen by thousands of people. Here are our favorite links from last week's party:

Monday, March 28, 2016

The Truth About Being Married & In Ministry

Leading a ministry together as a young married couple is both the most exhausting and most wonderful experience. I truly do not know how people do it without both spouses being involved and on the same page. My sweet hubby, Aaron, and I found ourselves leading cabins at YoungLife Camp just one month after we said “I do”. I should preface with the fact that we both led youth ministry together when we were in college, so finding ourselves thrust into the mission field in our newlywed days didn’t come as much of a surprise.


We don’t know marriage without ministry. Period. But, truthfully, I don’t regret it for one second. I think it’s very easy to become selfishly obsessed with our own young marriages, as we navigate intimacy and partnership together for the first time. Not that we shouldn’t love our spouses deeply, like the gift from God that they are, but we can’t lose sight of our bigger meaning and purpose- one that is about more than just enjoying our spouse. And for me, ministry has brought purpose to our marriage. I have seen the ways in which the Lord uses us to advance His kingdom and to bless others. I have truly gotten a glimpse of how we are stronger together than we are apart. I have held back tears as we lead fifty plus high school kids in worship. I have dug into the Bible in preparation for a message, and seen my husband be my biggest cheerleader. I have watched the Lord open doors in the most amazing ways, and allow us to be a small part of the huge plan He has in place.

To see some of my very favorite things about leading a ministry together as a married couple, as well as some of the hardest things about it, head on over to the rest of the post here, where it's being featured on Sobremesa Stories

Currently,
Kelsie

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

A Moment with Liz: Being the Bigger Person

Wow. Today's "moment" is inspirational, hard, and encouraging- all at the same time. My friend Liz, from Western New Yorker is sharing her heart in a big way, as she tells her journey of abuse, motherhood, and the constant choice to "be the bigger person" who refused to give up on her dreams. Here is her story about the will to succeed and the refusal to let anything break her. Thanks for sharing, Liz!

I have always been the bigger person. It has not always been the easy road, but it is the road I take.  Even as a child I felt this way. My childhood consisted of my father molesting me.  I do not say that for dramatic effect but rather to hit home this next sentence: “It did not break me”.  He did not break me. During this time children my age dreamed of becoming a Rockstar or Singer, I wanted to become a Mom. This drove me to be something more. It willed me to get through that in my life.


Above all things, I wanted to have the family that I desperately lacked as a child. As I write that, my son is off in the distance, sounding me back to reality. He wants my attention for a creation he has made. I give it to him. Yes, I wanted this, a walking part of me. What a privilege it is to call him mine.  I am not saying he is a piece of real estate or property but that it is a privilege I take seriously.

I knew I always wanted to be a Mom, as I said. As I grew older, I learned of my family’s history for Cancer and that my body was against me. I tried IVF. I had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy. I did not let that break me. When it came time to throw in the towel, I was facing another trial or a hysterectomy. My relationship was over; I would be doing this as a single mother now.


I just want to stop here and say the loss of a child is unbearable. Whatever you believe if those “situations” were cells or babies is not important so much as to me they were real. I loved them. I was excited over them and I lost them, each one.

I could tell you all the trials I had with my son while I carried him but I will keep it to just one. I was five months along and he was ready. Less than one pound, my son, was ready to come out. I was mercy flighted to Children’s Hospital. They located me in a room, near other soon to be mothers. They screamed and bellowed of how they never wanted kids. I prayed, I cried, I pleaded for him to stay in. Unlike them I wanted to be a mother.

Some would say I am stubborn. Now, normally I would fight this statement with gusto! But, I suppose that just reiterates that I am in fact, AT TIMES, stubborn. Luckily, for me my son has inherited that trait and we made it one day before his due date (one of life’s victories).

On my three week checkup I was told I was thrown out of remission and I would start radiation. This broke me! For the first time in my life someone else depended on me. And I wasn’t going to be there to grow up with him. I had in my eyes, already let him down. How could I be so selfish?

That was but one rock in the path that leads us to today. I have had two clean bills of health and my bundle of joy now can run circles around me at age six. As I watch him play, I leave you with these encouraging words:

Do not let, whatever ails you, beat you. Being the bigger person is not the easy road but it is the road you should take. I promise you that, my stories, are proof life is NOT absolute. It is ever changing and we are every growing. If I had given into my past, my nightmares, my fears this family I have now would not be here. Some say we dream things into life and that my friend is what I feel I have done. As cheesy as that sounds! I did not let it break me and neither should you.

Liz Cleland is a roaming blogger who calls Western New York her home. She blogs on life, food, and adventures over at Western New York. You can follow along with her on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram

If you liked this Moments Guest Post, check out the others here. Have a story that you'd like to share on Currently, KelsieContact me here with your idea!

Currently,
Kelsie

Friday, March 18, 2016

Five on Friday: Brackets, Breaks, & a Big Giveaway

It's here, it's here! I can't wait! Not only is it the weekend, but it's also extra happy because we've got nine days off. Safe to say that it couldn't have come soon enough, and that a lot of us teachers were having to really push to survive the week with some wound up kiddos. There's lots to be excited about this week, as well as some big news, and a huge giveaway at the bottom of the post. Make sure you check it out!



1. March Madness

Even if you're not a big basketball lover like I am, March Madness can still be a lot of fun. Let's face it, many of the people who have the best brackets really have no idea what they're doing. I always do a bracket at my school, along with one in a family pool for a little fun competition with my hubby. This year I filled out some with my students as well, so I've got four brackets to follow. It makes it a lot more fun to watch every game, and you feel like you care a little more!


2. A Team to Be Proud Of

If you've been following along in my last few Friday updates, you know that my school's girls basketball team has been making quite the run in the post-season. From coming back from a sixteen point deficit, to beating teams they've had to play four times, they've truly played their hearts out and made us all so proud. We made the trek to Columbia yesterday for the semi-final game, and sadly they did not come out victorious. There were a lot of crazy things in the game that could have completely changed the outcome in our favor- they just didn't. While a state championship won't be happening, they are still playing for third this morning- which is pretty dang good if you ask me!


3. Spring Break Adventures

I'm excited about spring break for ton of wonderful and totally valid reasons, but my biggest reason would have to be that we just so desperately need some time away to relax. Often times, our best form of relaxation is getting away from everything else around here: a little escape from the busyness. I can't wait to spend hours exploring cities (both familiar and old to us both), as well as chalk up some new state sign photos around the country. Thankful to have some time to play and make memories with my hubby in this sweet time of our lives.


4. Companion Pass!!

If you remember reading 16 Things I'm Excited about in 2016, then you may recall my excitement (and hope) that we would get the Companion Pass for the rest of 2016 and 2017. I'm happy to report that as of this month we are officially Companion Pass holders (and that's without either one of us earning points by traveling for work). We didn't even have to buy a car. This means that one of us flies free for the rest of the year and ALL of 2017, and the other has about 110,000 points to work through! I may share a post later on about how we accomplished this, but for now I'm dreaming of all the awesome trips we already have planned for the next year and eight months.


5. A Give-Away

Lastly, I wanted to leave you with a chance to put a little extra cash in your pocket! In honor of my friends Summer and Chelsie's birthdays, I'm going in with a whole bunch of amazing bloggers to offer you the chance to win a $300 Target Gift Card (because who wouldn't be able to spend that on some pretty amazing things?!). In order to earn entries, all you have to do is log in and complete some of the tasks below (like following someone on Instagram or Twitter), and you're set! No strings attached! Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
I'll be taking a spring break from the blog this week as well, but don't forget to stop by and check out the Moments Guest Post that will be coming to you on Wednesday. Have a wonderful weekend!

Currently,
Kelsie

I'm linking up with A. Liz Adventures The Diary of a Real HousewifeUniquely UnfoldedGrace and Love Blog,  Running for Cupcakesand Life in Leggings.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

A Moment with Lauren: Life After Trauma

I so admire my friend Lauren's bravery in sharing her story with us all in today's Moments Guest Post. Lauren is graciously sharing her heart and her words with us today, and I am so inspired by her vulnerability and the way in which she has chased hard after the Lord in the hardest of times. Her story is worth reading. 

When Kelsie first mentioned this series, I wanted to take part, but didn't originally think of writing about life after PTSD or living with trauma. I have mentioned it in passing on my personal blog, but to really talk about my life with PTSD, I would have to talk more about what caused it and I was scared to do that. I was also terrified to talk about life “after” PTSD, because I am still in the middle of living it.

However, then a few news stories hit the media, questioning the validity of a person's PTSD and the honesty behind a sexual assault case. I'm not big on writing commentary on social and political events. It's outside my comfort zone. But in this case, both those things affect me personally and while it may not be much, I think telling my personal story may be able to help with some of the assumptions others make about sexual assault and post traumatic stress disorder.


My first trauma came when I was much younger, and to be quite frank, was more like a sliver in a foot than a jagged knife to an artery. The problem with that trauma, however, was instead of removing the tiny piece of wood, cleaning out the wound, bandaging it up, and letting others know the sliver happened? I threw a band­aid on it and allowed it to slowly fester and rot beneath that bandage.

Ignoring every warning sign, every time the pain would overflow a little, I continued to apply bandage after bandage as the infection grew and began to slowly take over my life. Then at 19, when the other assault happened, it was like a stab wound to my already infected leg. Every part of me that had become rotten and broken exploded out and I left believing the leg would have to be amputated. Or I could die, did I not cut off all the broken pieces of me. I wasn't sure which was worse anymore.

We saved the leg, though.

I left school shortly following my assault and made it through what people would tell me was the darkest part of the night. I slowly began to acknowledge what had happened and therapy gave me four little letters for what my reaction was: PTSD. A diagnosis: post traumatic stress disorder. What no one told me about PTSD though, is that the darkest part of the night never completely ends­or at least it hasn't yet for me.

I really would love to be here talking about overcoming PTSD and the trauma, but I'm not there yet either. While I'm no longer in the middle of the hardest parts, the stress of my trauma is still significantly infiltrating my life. As I stated above, we saved the leg, but like anything that had been ignored, covered up, and slowly decaying for years, my leg was not back to the way it was before the injuries. I was not the same person as I was before my assaults. My coping skills were terrible, and I used all the wrong ones.

I slowly had to relearn how to live with the damage that had been done. Trauma adds an extra layer to every aspect of your life. Marriage, my relationship with friends, my faith in God...all had been tainted by the trauma I had lived through. Each step was harder than the last, but I slowly began to heal. I married a wonderful man, who helped me through the hard times. My relationship with friends slowly were grown back up. I regained a faith in God, leaning on Him as I forgave myself, God, and the person who hurt me.

Even pregnancy after sexual assault had it's own struggles and I found myself having to trust in God and myself. So many moments that should have been overrun with happiness left me uncomfortable and feeling out of control­something I never wanted again. My son's birth itself left me having panic attacks throughout it; my body was not mine for those hours and it caused flashbacks.


My second pregnancy has been easier though; life gets easier every day. I'm slowly coming closer to who I know God meant for me to be. This wasn't where I planned to be fifteen years ago, before my little heart knew the pain of trauma. But I am also not where I planned to be five years ago, directly following it either. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Some days seem harder. When the anniversary of the date goes by, I tend to have a rough week. Every so often, there come nights that are worse than others. But it's getting better. And I want anyone else out there living in life after trauma to know that.

I also want them to know they deserve to be allowed own what happened to them, however they want or need to own it. It took a long time for me to talk about these things; even now, my words are carefully considered as to not give away too many details. For me, I choose not to be completely open because the details should not be needed to confirm my trauma. What happened to me happened, and I'm living the “after” everyday. By the grace of God alone, I am making it through. The grace of God and the love of a few good people.

Life after trauma can be so hard. But it can also be beautiful, wonderful, and you find you have strength you never knew you had. If you take anything away from this moments with Lauren Jane, I hope you take away that even after trauma, life can be amazing.

Lauren Jane is a twenty-something mom blogger who is passionate about mental health, raising a Christian family, and foster care. Shel ives in the mountains of Western Massachusetts with five of her six kids (added through adoption, foster care, and biology) and her outdoorsman husband. You can follow along with Lauren and Bellows in the Berkshires on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

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Kelsie